Jenn and Shawn Marriage Story - When God Moves Us Into Unknown, New Territory

Married 7 years, Jenn and Shawn Stocking share how God redeemed their lives and what He's done in their marriage. They also have three beautiful children! This is a fun episode as Shawn and Jenn record from their home just the two of them during this quarantine period. We decided to not let the pandemic stop us. Also, a fun game you can play while listening is counting how many times we say “quarantine”. Here are some show notes from episode 17 —

before Christ

Jenn was raised in a “Christian” home but it wasn’t being fully lived out. Drugs and alcohol were present and she eventually found herself in a really dark place, into bad relationships and wound up with a DUI.

Shawn had a strong relationship with step-dad and dad and grew up going to church but admits he used to fall asleep in the chair on Sundays at church. He was raised in the “fundamentals of Christ” but not the Word of God. What does he mean by the “fundamentals”? The things people know are moral and good such as, “Do unto others as you do yourself”, “Love others”, “Be responsible” but he had not received Jesus into his heart and life, he was not living in the Spirit.

((Side note: Romans 6-8 are great chapters to read regarding this very thing, the reason Christ died. So that we who believe in Him are no longer slaves to the sinful nature but are given new life in Christ, able to live fruitful lives guided by His Holy Spirit which means we are adopted into God’s family and now children of God, heirs in Christ. You can have this too, just call on the name of Jesus, believe in Him and repent of your sin. You will find forgiveness in Jesus and be renewed daily enabled to live holy, righteous lives according to God’s Word. It’s important to get your hands on a Bible and get to know God and His character. He will transform you from the inside out through His Word.))

Shawn’s life took a turn away from God when his aunt passed away. He turned away from God completely and became an atheist/agnostic. He was against God completely and went around friends /family debating God.

He was reading books like the God Delusion and made a commitment to not believe.  Shawn shares there was a point in his life where he hit rock bottom and ended up back at home.

As he was at home, he was watching a reality TV show and saw this young guy with a family and for the first time, he wanted that. He shares he hit the ground and started praying to “a” God and didn’t really know why…

In his prayer, he gave God details of what he would want in a wife— tall, short hair, athletic, beautiful.

Two weeks later he reconnected to Jenn who just happens to be all those things and more. She had become a woman of God. Jenn had found redemption in Jesus and was saved from that dark place she had been in. Yet she had something really important she needed to tell him as they began talking. She had him guess at the thing she needed to tell him — that she was pregnant.  He didn’t correlate it yet or see all of this being the answer to prayer he had prayed but God gave him exactly what he’d ask for in Jenn. God was giving not only the woman/wife he prayed for but the family too.  A daughter.

“Jenn, do you see me in your future?”

Jenn had made the commitment for Christ in that period of her life and Shawn hadn’t quite yet and they debated God. So he went on an endeavor…to find evidence to deny God. He was still an atheist even though God had begun answering that one prayer.

For 6 months he studied, watched debates and historical documentation, etc. about the Bible and found no evidence to deny Christ but to prove him, and in that revelation, his life changed. He changed his bachelor’s degree to biblical studies in theology.

throwback

As mentioned before, they “reconnected”. Jenn and Shawn met before committing their lives to Christ — they go way back.  They went to junior high and high school together. Jenn was the low key conservative soccer player, Shawn was “the jock” with smarts and the social butterfly.  They were simply classmates and nothing more although admitted they thought each other were “cute”. They have a picture of them where Shawn was staring straight at her in the 8th grade. A foretelling?  

God brought them finally together through the wonders of Facebook, 5 years after graduating.  When Shawn did message her in 2010, she declined. 

“God is the only man in my life right now” - Jenn to Shawn

She was pregnant and growing in her relationship with Jesus yet Shawn says he was persistent. When Jenn took another glance at his Facebook picture, she saw he did not look the same at all. Was that a good thing or bad thing? We don’t know, haha but all they share is that in high school he had an afro, now he was bald (ha ha ha, que the fun laughs and gestures in the audio).

They communicated on the phone for 2 weeks, hadn’t even seen each other and yet they knew they were going to be together. It was it. God brought them together through the prayer of a former atheist and in His perfect timing.  To bring them together to form this family unit. This is proof that God in His Sovereignty knows all things, He hears the prayer of all persons and nothing can stop the plans He has for your life.

from anti- God to Jesus

Coming from an atheist background, Shawn had to learn how to lead biblically.  Jenn, of course, was so supportive of all this. 

Shawn shares, “Through His Word, through Scripture we know what’s expected of us in our marriage.  The breakthrough we’ve had is financial and also, “love and respect”.  Through parenthood, chaos, marriage, you can forget that love and respect.  Marriage ministry is serving.  Serving each other and their kids.  There’s now quarantine ministry. Helping others.”

Shawn also said it goes, “God, Bible, wife, kids, family, friends, people I don’t know, work”. That might surprise a lot of men but it’s the order it should be. Work is important to provide families, but quality time and your presence is even more needed.

lean on God and each other

Early on in their marriage, Jenn and Shawn had some people come against them, and yet through relying on God and each other they overcame. They were really vulnerable, really weak could have easily been swayed and influenced to walk away from God but they remained fervent and steadfast in the Word.  In episode 17, they share too many people depend on themselves to see the result and if it’s uncomfortable, they stop.  But There were those who thought they were doing everything backward because they had a baby, then dated and got to know each other. But God! He calls us into new territory, the things not expected so that He can receive all the glory.

Through this trial, they found strength through Christ and have seen His glory on the other side of their hardship. When the tough got going, they leaned in. On the other side? They got to see family members give their lives to Christ, some of the ones who were opposed before.  They could not deny the power of Christ in Jenn and Shawn’s lives and marriage as they watched this newlywed couple lean on Him and draw strength to endure from Him and miraculously saw Him working in their lives.

Just think: Jesus did something that had never been done before on the cross. God had a plan and it offended the crowd. Yet hold on and wait to see what’s on the other side. The greatest story ever told, the power to defeat sin and death was once unknown, the ending not fully unveiled although prophesied about. Yet so many missed it. Yet now so many gloried in it and are saved.

Christ did the unknown on the cross, in an unknown territory so believe that God is doing something great in the unknown of your story too, right now.

“we fight, we make up, and we go back to God and do it all over again”. 

Jenn shares, “We miss out on what God is wanting to do every single day when we leave Him out.”

We hear so often that we are in this season or that season. Shawn says, “Christ doesn’t have a season. He loves us every single day, every second of the day.”

Jenn and Shawn talk about the story of Jesus’ washing the disciples’ feet — this is your marriage story, insert your names into that story. The washing of each other’s feet. Marriage is selflessness, not selfishness.

Shawn says, “There’s a great calculated design for marriage, between husband and wife. Being that co-equal branch in Christ— “

 He’s referencing John 15.
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. 
Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. 
Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. 
Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. 
I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. 
If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. 
If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.  
By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples.” (v.1-9 ESV)

marriage in quarantine

“Being a stay-at-home mom has prepared me for this time”, Jenn shares. The blessing in quarantine has been coming together in unity and in love. 

This tragedy has brought families closer, for husbands to see work isn’t the most important thing,  With trials come triumphs. Realizing all the more our shortcomings and need for Christ and forgiveness.

One last mention from Shawn was this — “Love the person they’re becoming, not necessarily the person you married. It’s okay to change, we’re going to. Love the person they will be tomorrow.”