Caleb and Stefanie Rouse: Relationship Educators and Thriving With Jesus
Caleb and Stefanie Rouse have been married for 7.5 years. Caleb said it was “love at first sight” for him. Yet it took about a year from their first introduction for the timing to be right for them to go on their first date.
the difference
They share that as they were dating they could be fully themselves. There was freedom for them both to show up and be completely themselves, which they describe as being a gift. They felt God’s presence over the whole dating thing and their marriage.
Stefanie shares, “There was no striving, no putting on a facade. I had already made the decision that I would not change any part of myself to be with someone that made me feel like I couldn’t be who God created me to be.”
She had dated others before, even Christian guys who were great guys but she didn’t feel she could be herself around them. “It only takes one. If you don’t have peace in your heart, it’s not God’s best.”
Be fully who God wants you to be. Don’t let another person change that.
testimonies
Caleb grew up in the church, his parents were both Christians. His family was healthy, he was in a good situation growing up but he didn’t take his faith seriously until high school. God captured his heart in his mid-twenties. It was a real relationship for the first time.
Stefanie grew up in a Catholic home, it was very religious, a lot of rules and regulations. She remembers having a fear of God, she had the wrong idea about Him. There was this tradition that if you wore a necklace blessed by the priest and died overnight you would only go to purgatory instead of hell….she experienced panic attacks around it. She knows now that it wasn’t a personal relationship with the living, true, loving God.
In high school she was invited to a bible study, a woman who invited her was “so different than anyone she had ever met”. Stefanie shares that all of the people coming to the study were people you’d never imagine being at a bible study. This woman was like a mom to this group. She suffered through a really abusive relationship and felt very oppressed and her mom in the faith kept encouraging her to break up with him. Stefanie’s mentor was then diagnosed with a brain tumor, Stefanie prayed and thought God would for sure heal her yet she died of that brain tumor. Stefanie says she was really mad at God because of all that had happened.
Out of this anger, she turned from God and went her own way in her twenties. She shares she was suicidal in this period even though everyone in college would have thought she was having the time of her life, partying at Penn State “living the life” but she had so much pain from the abuse and the things she’d participated in. It wasn’t until a friend said, “Why don’t you go all-in with Jesus? You’ve been doing this half in, half out thing but what if you try to go all in?”
After that, there was such a dramatic day where Jesus captured her soul. He transformed her life in real ways. She knew how much she needed Him every day, seeing the ugliness in her and this world.
“Every good thing comes from Him.”
Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy, Masters in Education
Stefanie started the Marriage and Family Therapy program in her singleness. After becoming a Christian, she started dating a guy, was engaged with the wedding all planned and paid for. Until he suddenly broke up with her with no explanation. It was in this moment where everything was ripped from under her — future plans, friends, everything she cared about. God became her Rock in that moment. She realized, “God, even if it’s just You and me forever, that’s okay.”
She realized there was a blockage between the pain in our lives and the receiving of God’s love. We never learn healthy communication, setting up healthy boundaries, recognizing red flags, and she wanted to learn all this from a theological perspective. She needed this not only for future clients but for her own heart.
She found that the pain that was blocking so much was being released as she pressed in to this study and into God. Now practically speaking, it’s a daily thing to let go of bitterness and things in marriage, bitterness steals all things from life. She knew she wasn’t meant to be a therapist but when she met and married Caleb they kept praying how to use the gifts God had given them. Caleb’s family has a background of teachers so he grew up in that environment. He discovered more and more his passion for students and for teaching.
Together, they want to make an impact bigger than themselves through encouraging others.
sexual purity and purity
Stefanie and Caleb decided they were going to wait for marriage to have sex.
Before having a relationship with God, Stefanie didn’t share in the whole concept of waiting for marriage to have sex. She had been told by others you were supposed to have sex to keep the other person in the relationship or to be desirable. Yet when she made her commitment for Christ, she realized she had to make a lot of changes in her life. She wanted to do that because of her love for God. When you’re head over heels in love with someone you’re going to do what they love and ask, this is what the Word of God says. “This area is very important for me to honor God.” Contrary to what the world and culture will tell you and label you as, “God is not withholding from you. Sex is a beautiful gift but used wrongly it is used for our pain and others pain.”
It first starts with a verbal commitment, “God I promise, I want to honor You in these ways.”
Caleb shares, “Being pure allows you to develop yourself and get yourself to a healthy spot to be in that relationship. To be pure you get to work on that compatibility, building intimacy before you’re physically intimate. So what if you’re compatible physically but what about other areas? The physical only lasts a small amount of time and the relationship is not going to work anymore if that’s all it’s built on.”
Boundaries are about keeping the good in and the bad out.
Even though “Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial” (1 Corinthians 10:23). Practically you should and can set boundaries on what you’re consuming. It might be culturally acceptable to watch something on TV but that doesn’t mean you need to watch it. Stefanie and Caleb share they are very careful about what they allow into their lives and that’s not from a judgmental standpoint but because they’ve found “boundaries are a blessing, they bring freedom.”
What you watch or listen to can have an impact on your mental state, on what you perceive as pure. It will twist your mindset when really that thing is not the best for you. You sense within your spirit as the numbness wears off, as the Holy Spirit resensitizes you to what we shouldn’t or should be watching. He gives us the ability to discern.
Stefanie made it clear from the beginning of their relationship that waiting to have sex until marriage was non-negotiable and Caleb whole-heartedly agreed. Stefanie says, “What is my integrity? Am I outside of that? What is within my integrity? We never slept over together.” They are a testament to waiting for that intimacy is worth the wait.
There is a way to use sex to bring the most life. The world won’t show you that way.
education and resources
Stefanie and Caleb recently launched a course for single women and they have one for married couples coming soon! The tools inside this course are things Stefanie learned in her program. The things she learned changed her life and she wanted to make the information and knowledge more accessible.
What’s shared in the course is intended to help unlock the best version of yourself in what God has called you to. It’s helping people thrive long-term. This course can help what you do in dating, impacts your marriage, how to communicate properly and aiding in doing the work daily, to bring the good in, and keeping the bad out.
You can connect with Stefanie and Caleb on their Instagram: @stefanie.rouse and @calebjasonrouse
On their website: https://www.stefanierouse.com/about-us or on YouTube
And the MASTERCLASS The 4 Secrets to Cultivate A Loving Relationship That Lasts (Even if You’ve Lost Hope) can be found here!
