Melissa and Bart and Keeping Your Eyes on Christ in All Seasons
Melissa and Bart Hamada have been married 13 years. Diving right in, talking about one of the most trying things they’ve walked through together in marriage, infertility.
Have we idolized certain milestones in our life and in the church? How often do we not even think as we are asking certain questions? Never really fully knowing what someone may be walking through…
There are those sharp pointed questions, those cliche questions. Being married 13 years. Bart and Melissa get asked that question, “No kids?” a lot. Bart says sometimes it is easier to just give the short response back without going into it.
infertility
Melissa shares,
“You have your heart prepared for those questions. Not wanting to put that person on the spot, by saying “Oh we can’t have children”. Automatically you get a look on their face, and I get it. I thank you for recognizing it’s a hard thing but it shouldn’t be something we aren’t able to openly talk about.
It shouldn’t be something that I or my husband or my marriage should carry any shame for. It’s not something that we’ve have chosen for ourselves. And even if there’s a couple whose chosen not to have children, there’s no shame in that either.”
Melissa also shared,
“I’ve found I’ve personally struggled with where you feel ‘What about me is broken?’ Or why is it that I’m not good enough to be a mom?
There’ve been those seasons that I allow myself to question those things, and in light of truth found in Scripture, I know that God is sovereign and I know He’s in control. He’s redeemed me and my body, my marriage. I know He’s not withholding anything good.
The Scripture says that in Psalms, that ‘He withholds nothing good for those who walk uprightly.’ And I know I am not upright in myself, that I’m upright in Christ and His righteousness. So I lean back on that verse to give me comfort and focus and perspective on what is true. But it is hard. it is still a desire of my heart. We’re not in control of those desires of when and how we have those things come to pass.”
Bart —
“About God’s timing, if you’re walking with the Lord He has you exactly where He wants you.”
barrenness, this isn’t the end of the story
Melissa goes a bit into a study on the life of Elizabeth. How To Deal with Disappointment by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. Anytime we want to see fruit in our labor, it leads to disappointment. It reminds us of Who to go to with our disappointment. Similar to Habakkuk where he sees the wickedness around him prevail, he cries out to the Lord, “How long Lord, how long Lord will You allow this to go on? It’s recognizing in the midst of disappointment and carry that in my heart, I go to the One who sees it all. It’s clinging to His character, not our feelings. Not who I think He is, but knowing who He declares He is.
“We don’t always see the fruit of our labor. It reminded me of not being able to bear a child at this time that it’s a season, it has purpose and it’s okay.”
Bart —
“On disappointment and when you’ve prayed for something and God says no, you go back and think what your motives were on that. Was it to glorify Him?”
Joy and peace cannot be taken away from us. They can be traded but nothing of this world is worth trading joy and peace that comes from knowing Christ. What Christ did on the cross, secured our peace and joy. We don’t need to fight for it but we do need to fight for more of Christ."
Job 23:10: “But he knows the way that I take;
when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold.”
He is preparing us to be His bride.
“For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!” 2 Corinthians 4:17
how they met
Melissa literally fell into Bart’s lap. Bart had been pretty discouraged that he hadn’t ever been in a serious relationship, so his sister prayed that his future wife would just fall into his lap. “Make it so easy that she fall in his lap” was what Bart’s sister prayed.
And that same night at study, Melissa who had been friends with them came to study a little late and had squeeze past some people to sit with them yet they were in the middle of the row. As she walked down, she lost her footing and fell right into Bart’s lap.
“You can learn a lot about somebody from afar”, they had already seen qualities in each other they liked as they watched each other serve.
small groups
When first married, they protected their marriage a lot and stayed in community together but realized recently they hadn’t been doing that. They had their small groups separately but really wanted to have fellowship with other couples. They have began attending a home group with other couples.
If you’re having trouble finding your footing, get plugged in. Finding a community is so essential. There’s so much wisdom to learn in groups.
resources
Hinds’ Feet on High Places Hannah Hurnard
Let Me Be a Women by Elisabeth Elliott
Exemplary Husband by Stuart Scott and Excellent Wife by Martha Peace
